chew on shorts

My second day out side was almost enjoyable. I didn’t hide every time  I got scared.

I walked a little further today, I jumped around in the tall grass. Everything was going so well untill mom and I saw a human with a little dog. I wasnt afraid untill it started barking at me. If my mom would have put me down, I would have scratched him up! The human insulted us by telling her I look like a rat on a string.

My mom kept her cool and went the other way, but the big hairy human with shorts on kept following us, to make  fun of me. I’m sure I’m smarter than his little dog.

My mom explained to me that he wasnt very intelligent and we did the correct thing by ignoring him. She told me later that little boys wear shorts. Men should not  wear shorts unless, they are playing with some kind of a ball, there is a beach behind them or they are in the privacy of their own home. No one wants to see big, hairy, ugly  legs. The only thing I know about fashion is whats a good shoe to chew. My mom on the other hand  learned her tricks at a school in NYC, and worked with Hollywood movie stars. Now she helps wealthy women with their shopping. Maybe she can give some advice on the side and I can enjoy my walks with better dressed humans.

The little dog could have been my  friend I’m sure, but my mom went back home and we practiced our tricks for a long time. It takes me three days to learn a trick.

The other cats cleaned me again when we came back. I dont like it, I want to play with them not get a bath.

I hope I can learn all the tricks I need to know to get a job. It feels like its going to take a while.

They took my poop to Dr. Katz today, I hope all the bugs and germs are gone. I can’t go to any auditions  untill I have all my shots and paperwork finished. That should give me some time to get better at my tricks.


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